What is my why?

Why did I want to do a marathon?

I was never an athlete in school of after. I mean I loved sports but mine was more the sit-down-and-watch type of love. I was never good at any sports. But I loved to watch; I enjoyed seeing the rippling muscles and the dripping sweat as the athletes struggled to do something I knew I could never do. So why did I decide that I wanted to run a marathon? And why did I wait for so long before doing it? Oops! I haven’t even done an actual marathon yet. I guess the half-mary would have to suffice for this discussion.

I first voiced out the idea as a joke to a friend in the summer of 2013. At the time I was overweight and I had issues with my heart. I needed to exercise to keep me alive.

One day, while running round a school field, the idea dropped into my head that it would be fun to run a marathon. I picked up the thought and started to fantasize about it. It seemed incredibly romantic to me and if you know me, the idea of something romantic is enough to ignite my passion-literarily

Anyway I started playing with the idea and the principal reason why I stayed with it was because I did not think I could do it. Isn’t that weird?

Deep down somewhere, in my heart I was not sure I had the discipline needed for a marathon or the strength to do it but the idea was intoxicating. Somehow my heart clung to the idea and refused to let go. But the major reason I clung to it was because the negative side of me was waiting to taunt me and add it to my list of failures. My biggest why was the anticipated joy of telling my other self, “see? I did it. I made it happen.”

I know it’s not the conventional reason why people do most things but believe me it was what kept me going-my lack of faith in my ability. It kept me going right up to race day, and then I chose to run solo. And that is where it gets really interesting…

I’ll be back

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